Is Your Life Interesting Enough to Develop You Personally? My take on Pitt’s disclosure.

Even celebrities are strapped with the task of finding personal meaning and fulfillment.  Although some of the rich and famous, like Brad Pitt take this task more seriously than others.

In recent interviews talking about his new movie the Rollerball, Brad talks about the reasons for leaving Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie. About who he was in his marriage to Aniston, he said, “I wasn’t living an interesting life”,  calling himself  “dull”.  This comment, to some, was offensive. They thought Pitt was devaluing his relationship to Aniston. He apologized afterwards saying that he was talking about himself.

I took his disclosure as more about him than her. Unfortunately, when we speak about past relationships, it’s difficult to find words that do not suggest value statements about ex-romantic partners. Whichever side of the opinion on Pitt’s disclosure that you fall, I think there’s an important message in his comments about where he was at personally that is useful to our everyday living.

His statements really show is that he really didn’t know himself very well when he married Aniston.It was his inability at that time to actualize his true desires in his relationship that led to his apathy, which had little to do with Aniston. To his credit, he awakened to his desire to grow personally and to finding the life that best expresses his authentic yearnings.

Brad Pitt and his family (from Reuters). Brad Pitt finds life interesting and fulfilling now.

Some of our greatest learning and life lessons come through romantic relating. You learn about who you are through the eyes of your lover, what you want and don’t want, and most importantly, what you need to be deeply fulfilled. Sometimes, we learn that we have stopped growing psychologically and spiritually. This is what Pitt must have discovered.

When do you know that you have stopped growing in a relationship, that you are not experiencing enough enriched experiences personally to expand your life journey meaningfully?

Problems of fulfillment arise when you sacrifice your needs and desires for the  lifestyle of your romantic partner. This is especially true if your partner’s lifestyle, no matter how great it may be, poorly nourishes your whole being psychologically and spiritually. I can only surmise that Aniston and Pitt’s whole being desires were not a perfect fit. They fit in a material, public sense but when push came to shove, there wasn’t sufficient inner world elements between the two to challenge each other to personally grow.

It seems, from Pitt’s disclosure that his and Jolie’s whole being needs are a good fit. He learned about his capacity to father, to father children, to father survivors of Katrina, and to father many other humanitarian endeavors that he supports wholeheartedly. And, look at Jolie. She has spent a couple of decades learning about herself as a mother. It seems that there is enough shared interests between them to encourage, support and push each other to excel for a lifetime.

Do you have to leave a relationship to grow or can you can grow within it? You shouldn’t leave your romantic partner just because you feel bored or dull in the relationship. Before you blame your partner for your boredom, you need to examine the source of it. Just because you are in a romantic relationship does not mean that you have to put your personal growth needs on the back burner. If you can learn how to meet those needs within the relationship, all the better.

You may find that you can fulfill your inner desires within the relationship because there’s a lot of shared interests between you and your lover. It’s only when your personal growth widens the gap between you and your mate that the integrity of the relationship will be threatened. If this is the case, only you can decide if you need a change to grow and thrive or you want to stay put, accepting things as they are. Whatever you choose, you still have to make meaning of your living choices and take responsibility for them.

If you liked my post today, please say so by selecting the Like icon that immediately follows. And, please feel free to comment about your thoughts and reflections on today’s topic. Happy Friday, and as always, live well, Deborah!



2 Responses to “Is Your Life Interesting Enough to Develop You Personally? My take on Pitt’s disclosure.”

  1. avatar Wyatt says:

    You have done a fine job of expressing what I always felt about this popular couple. And about personal relationships I have loved and lost. thanks for bringing clarity to so many of us who have felt more alone in relationships.

    • avatar drdeborahkhoshaba says:

      Thank you so much for the nice feedback. It is so hard to find oneself lonely in a relationship—and oh boy, the conflict that a person goes through deciding if it is the authentic thing to leave or to stay. Sitting with so many people throughout the years, hearing their painful struggle as they determine this decision, has deepened my understanding of the human value of being authentic in every area of our living. Thank you again for tuning into my blog. Warmly, Deborah


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